NCTC

Chuchotez forever!!!

Don't Cry Friend

I know that you're going through a rough time.

Practically everyone is. (I am.)

But don't feel lost.

Even though I never see you, I want you to be happy and take amazing photographs.

I still love you.

We'll see each other soon, and we'll be much better off then than we are now.

In the meantime, rest easy and keep smiling.

Awesome.

Things are definitely looking up.

I'm doing so much better.

I feel refreshed.

This identity is good.

I'm getting excited about things again.

I'm passionate.

I'm smiling.

I'm taking moments to breathe.

This is more like it.

So these are the facts

I'm sitting at home right now in my hoodie.

My grandparents are coming to pick me up.

Homecoming is tonight.

Sally will win.

I think.

I hope.

But I'm pausing.

I'm looking at this date.

This very day, I called you on the phone, my voice shaking,

In fear and anger, and we were in for whatever was coming.

And we knew we could do it.

And we did.

And this is the hardest day of my life.

Because I'm reliving every step I took on the day I fell in love with you.

It all clicked.

Like Hellen Keller at the friggin well!

I won't forget this date.

I won't forget you.

I won't forget how sad I feel right now.

I won't forget I have friends who love me.

I won't forget that I still love you.

I won't forget you were wonderful.

It will linger in my memory.

It was a false hope, a dumb dream.

I knew it wouldn't happen, but that's okay.

I need to move on.

I need to go out tonight and have fun.

I need to be around the people who love me most.

I need to feel wanted, the way you made me feel.

This is it.

I'm free.

you like to play games, clearly.

You were my everything.

I held you closer than anyone.

I confided in you.

You kept me alive.

I lost you.

I almost died.

I didn't.

I lived painfully.

I cried to sleep.

I took pills to sleep so I could forget about it.

I looked around.

Felt real dumb.

Looked up and saw the Earth spinning.

I looked at you, and realized how wrong this had been.

I'm grateful you were there.

I'm glad you were my first love.

I love you still.

I'm still here.

But I'm not at your hip joint.

I'm not on the phone fighting at one in the morning.

I'm away from that.

And I'm happy.

I've officially moved on.

I realize what we had was beautiful.

I realize that it was real.

And we were real.

But the reality is that it's gone.

And I have accepted that.

It makes me happy to know.

That we are okay.

I don't ever want to lose you, in a friend sense.

But we weren't meant to get so far in.

We tested our maturity.

We tested love.

We tested faith.

We lost.

And that's fine.

We know where we stand.

And I'm happy to know that we're fine.

And not fine and dandy.