Your voice sounded like heaven.
I forgot the ring of it.
My heart is leaping.
My stomach is tied in knots.
I can hardly breath.
Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow <3
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Jesus Christ Superstar
Finally I have time to blog again.
For a little bit.
Life is looking up.
I've made some really great friends lately.
Friends that love me.
I feel happy again.
I'm out of the musical, kicked out.
Okay, whatever.
I was tired anyway.
I'm going to be positive.
I have to make the most of these years because time is fleeting.
For a little bit.
Life is looking up.
I've made some really great friends lately.
Friends that love me.
I feel happy again.
I'm out of the musical, kicked out.
Okay, whatever.
I was tired anyway.
I'm going to be positive.
I have to make the most of these years because time is fleeting.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Biorhythms
I have this project in my pre cal class due friday.
I'm stressing, but I know it's going to be awesome.
I love the theory.
It is theorized that our bodies, minds, and emotions undergo a cycle.
Represented by a sine function that period repeats and repeats and repeats until you stop living.
It's fascinating.
It seems everything that illogical, biased, and uncontrollable has a root or a cause.
The high points of the sine function represent the best, or the highs of one's activity.
The low points represent the sleepy, or the inactive days of one's cycle.
The "bad days" in one's cycle are days that occur when the graph crosses the x axis.
The theory is not perfect.
It doesn't apply to everyone.
But, I believe it's about right with me.
I think it may affect teenagers, more than adults.
That week is was depressed, I was coming down to a critical point.
I felt sick last night, and that was on a physical low day.
It may be an answer to my random feelings.
On critical days, I just won't blog.
I'm stressing, but I know it's going to be awesome.
I love the theory.
It is theorized that our bodies, minds, and emotions undergo a cycle.
Represented by a sine function that period repeats and repeats and repeats until you stop living.
It's fascinating.
It seems everything that illogical, biased, and uncontrollable has a root or a cause.
The high points of the sine function represent the best, or the highs of one's activity.
The low points represent the sleepy, or the inactive days of one's cycle.
The "bad days" in one's cycle are days that occur when the graph crosses the x axis.
The theory is not perfect.
It doesn't apply to everyone.
But, I believe it's about right with me.
I think it may affect teenagers, more than adults.
That week is was depressed, I was coming down to a critical point.
I felt sick last night, and that was on a physical low day.
It may be an answer to my random feelings.
On critical days, I just won't blog.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Unfortunately
I'm not doing well today.
Everything is setting me off.
My mom. Rehearsal. Plans. Friends.
I'm just so upset, and I don't know how I can make this better.
I feel awful.
You smiled at me in the hall, and for a moment, I wasn't me anymore.
I was yours.
Then, I realized, you're still dating my friend.
Which is going well...
Then great. Rehearsal. And I just couldn't do it.
I felt like I was going to die.
You can't dance to peppy music when all you want to do is cry.
I'm crying right now.
I don't care.
Just screw it.
Screw everything.
I hate how my life is right now.
It's just disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment.
Just like my darling mother tells me everyday.
I hate both equally.
I don't care if that's terrible to say.
I just hate people in general.
Stupid, naive, pointless.
And like the answer is god, that god makes everything better.
I believe in god, but he isn't here actively involved in my life.
He's somewhere far a way, this world is left to chance.
And now, I'm not so lucky.
I don't think life is special or unique.
I think it's just a punishment.
I just want to go away, off to college.
I want to leave here.
I want to leave this time.
I hate it.
I hate her.
I hate her so much.
I hate living like this.
I'm like a tree fallen in a forest of success.
I'm average.
I won't go anywhere.
I won't be anyone.
Everything is getting me down.
I just want to feel up again.
I'm dying.
If you stuck through all of that, you're amazing, and I love you.
Everything is setting me off.
My mom. Rehearsal. Plans. Friends.
I'm just so upset, and I don't know how I can make this better.
I feel awful.
You smiled at me in the hall, and for a moment, I wasn't me anymore.
I was yours.
Then, I realized, you're still dating my friend.
Which is going well...
Then great. Rehearsal. And I just couldn't do it.
I felt like I was going to die.
You can't dance to peppy music when all you want to do is cry.
I'm crying right now.
I don't care.
Just screw it.
Screw everything.
I hate how my life is right now.
It's just disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment.
Just like my darling mother tells me everyday.
I hate both equally.
I don't care if that's terrible to say.
I just hate people in general.
Stupid, naive, pointless.
And like the answer is god, that god makes everything better.
I believe in god, but he isn't here actively involved in my life.
He's somewhere far a way, this world is left to chance.
And now, I'm not so lucky.
I don't think life is special or unique.
I think it's just a punishment.
I just want to go away, off to college.
I want to leave here.
I want to leave this time.
I hate it.
I hate her.
I hate her so much.
I hate living like this.
I'm like a tree fallen in a forest of success.
I'm average.
I won't go anywhere.
I won't be anyone.
Everything is getting me down.
I just want to feel up again.
I'm dying.
If you stuck through all of that, you're amazing, and I love you.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Song of the week
So... I'm going to try to stick with this.
Animal collective: IN THE FLOWERS
Seriously, this band is amazing. All their songs are wonderful, this is one of my favorites...
"A dancer who was high in a field from a moment
Caught my breath on my way home
Couldnt stop that spinning force
I fell into you
Everything drowns you to giggle
You are up with the flower and I care
So the dancer who gets wild to the deep reveling rhythm
But I am always away for weeks
that pass slow like mind gets lost
Feeling envy for the kid who danced in spite of anything
And were out in the flowers and feel better
If I could just leave my body for the night
Then we could be dancing no more missing you while I am gone
Then we could be dancing and youd smile and say I like this song
And then ours would meet them we will recognize nothings wrong
And I wouldnt feel so selfish I wont be this way very long
To hold you in time
To hold you in time
To hold you in time
To hold you in time
And were dancing, early hours drunken days finally ended
And the streets turn for pillowcase
And I fumble all good lie
Then the ecstasy turns the writhing light through our windowpane
Now I am gone, I left flowers for you there"
Animal collective: IN THE FLOWERS
Seriously, this band is amazing. All their songs are wonderful, this is one of my favorites...
"A dancer who was high in a field from a moment
Caught my breath on my way home
Couldnt stop that spinning force
I fell into you
Everything drowns you to giggle
You are up with the flower and I care
So the dancer who gets wild to the deep reveling rhythm
But I am always away for weeks
that pass slow like mind gets lost
Feeling envy for the kid who danced in spite of anything
And were out in the flowers and feel better
If I could just leave my body for the night
Then we could be dancing no more missing you while I am gone
Then we could be dancing and youd smile and say I like this song
And then ours would meet them we will recognize nothings wrong
And I wouldnt feel so selfish I wont be this way very long
To hold you in time
To hold you in time
To hold you in time
To hold you in time
And were dancing, early hours drunken days finally ended
And the streets turn for pillowcase
And I fumble all good lie
Then the ecstasy turns the writhing light through our windowpane
Now I am gone, I left flowers for you there"
electric renaissance
I've felt something pretty amazing starting to happen inside me.
Something different, something new.
I'm finally feeling excited about things again.
I think I'm over everything.
I have two voids in my life.
And I am working on filling them.
But the spring air, the warmth, the birth of the season.
It's so beautiful and mesmerizing.
I feel an electric renaissance in my heart/mind.
I'm finally true.
Living life the way I see it.
It's powerful.
Seriously, I'm not going to live for people who have my GPA
I'm going to devote my love and time to people who love me.
A girlfriend and a best friend will come from that.
Something different, something new.
I'm finally feeling excited about things again.
I think I'm over everything.
I have two voids in my life.
And I am working on filling them.
But the spring air, the warmth, the birth of the season.
It's so beautiful and mesmerizing.
I feel an electric renaissance in my heart/mind.
I'm finally true.
Living life the way I see it.
It's powerful.
Seriously, I'm not going to live for people who have my GPA
I'm going to devote my love and time to people who love me.
A girlfriend and a best friend will come from that.
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