New Semesters: New Beginnings

This semester is going to own.

English, French, Pre Cal, Theatre 2

That's so simple compared to what I had last semester.

I'm so happy I aced all my classes.

I had a lot of struggles, internally, physically, mentally, but I overcame them.

It's great really.

I'm ready to take a few risks.

Try new things.

Hangout with new people.

I'm ready for change to happen.

I get my license next week and I'm seeing Billy Elliot in two days!

I'm so happy!

Gotta get to bed for a brand new day.

Goodnight.

The Wild Trees

This weekend has been great.

This whole week off from school has helped me clear my head.

Things are looking up.

I've been around friends all weekend.

Friday was the wild trees and carson.

Saturday was True Grit and Yogurt Mountain with Noah.

Sunday was the Keystone dance with all my sophomore friends.

I think the keystone dance was the worst.

The dance was fun.

Same crazy grinding teenagers.

Same rap.

But something wasn't the same.

I wasn't with anyone.

I wasn't there with the girl I was going to be with.

We could've been dancing.

Singing.

As a couple.

But alas, that isn't how it was.

And it was great.

I hope everyone had a fantastic time who went.

I did.
But you know.

There's always that thought of what if...

Deuces spring break.

Up late

Wow.

I'm really trying to get over this.

Emptiness.

Silence.

Void.

Words with periods.

I'm okay.

I'm not sad.

But I still want you like crazy.

I can't even lie.

Like I really miss you.

I want to date you.
I want to sing with you.

I want to have the chance to love you.

It's so hard.

I'm going to wait.

But this isn't easy.

I'm glad we've had days off of school.

Regardless of the make up days.

Because I think I would have a break down at the sight of you.

I'm trying to be strong through this.

But I'm still letting all of this process.

To anyone reading,

If you really like someone..

Show them that you do.

Don't just assume they know.

Because odds are, they don't.

How it all went down

I met her.

She was lovely.

She dated a few guys.

I was her friend.

Then she was single.

We started to talk.

We even went on a few dates.

It was going great.

Until she saw him again.

They talked.

They reconnected.

The kissed.

I didn't know.

A day later they decided to tell me.

I was hurt.

It's a hurt that you can't cry over.

Which is a scary sort of hurt.

I really liked her.

She thought I only kind of liked her.

I didn't show it enough.

I moved too slow.

I should've held her closer.

(The he is also one of my best friends.)

People sent me people of them.

Taunting me.

Dumb freshmen.

Made me cry.

So much happened.

I missed out.

I let her go.

I don't think I love her now.

But I know I want to have the chance to.

I hope she's happy.

I hope I start to get happier.

I hope she will be mine one day.

I hope whoever's reading this cares.

I hope more people text me about it.

I hope I don't cry next time I see her.

2011

I realize what happened this new years eve.

For some reason, I felt upset, but I was happy.

Don't you hate it when you have conflicting emotions?

Honestly, it makes me feel insane.

I don't half remember everything I did, said, and thought.

I kinda blocked it out.

But I think I did all that because I know that I missed opportunities.

Time is flying.

Every year goes by faster than the next.

I feel like I invested way too much time in someone that ended up hurting me.

I feel like I missed my friends, my family, and just being a teenager.

But I was happy because I was getting a fresh start.

I know this year will be better.

This year will be the best.

I may date.

I may fall in love.

But this time I'm not going to let it run my life.

I will look for balance.

I have learned and I think that's enough.

Let's make this the best year ever.